Tuesday, February 15. Early in the day I felt some comfort; afterwards I walked into a neighbouring grove, and felt more a stranger on earth than ever; as dead to the enjoyments of the world, as if I had been dead in a natural sense.—In the evening I had sweetness in secret duty: God was then my portion, and my soul rose above those deep waters, into which I have sunk so low of late.
Thursday, February 17. I preached this day at a little village; and God was pleased to give me his gracious assistance, so that I spake with freedom, boldness, and power. *In the evening, I spent some time with a dear Christian friend; felt as on the brink of eternity; my soul enjoyed sweetness in lively apprehensions of standing before the glorious God: prayed with my dear friend, and discoursed with the utmost solemnity. And truly it was a little emblem of heaven itself.
Friday, February 18. I felt sweetly most of the day, and found access to the throne of grace. Blessed be the Lord for any intervals of composure while I am in the field of battle. O that I might be serious, solemn, and always vigilant, while in an evil world! O, I long to live to God!
[During the next fortnight, he, for the most part, enjoyed much peace and comfort. And this space of time was filled up with great diligence and earnestness in serving God, in study, prayer, meditation, preaching, and private instructing and counselling.]
*Monday, March 7. This morning when I arose, I found my heart go after God in longing desires of conformity to him: and in secret prayer I found myself sweetly drawn out in praises to God for all he had done to and for me, and for all my inward trials and distresses; my heart ascribed glory, glory, glory to the blessed God! and bid welcome to all inward distress again, if God saw meet to exercise me with it: time appeared but an inch long, and eternity at hand; and I thought I could with patience and chearfulness bear any thing for the cause of God; for I saw that a moment would bring me to a world of peace and blessedness; and my soul, by the strength of the Lord, rose far above this lower world, and all the vain amusements and frightful disappointments of it.
Lord’s-day, March 13. At noon, I thought it impossible for me to preach, by reason of bodily weakness and inward deadness; and in the first prayer, I was so weak that I could hardly stand; but in sermon, God strengthened me, so that I spake near an hour and half with freedom, clearness, and tender power, from Genesis v. 24. “And Enoch walked with God.” I was sweetly assisted to insist on a close walk with God, and to leave this as my parting advice to God’s people here, that they should walk with God. May the God of all grace succeed my poor labours in this place!
Saturday, March 19. I was distressed under a sense of my ignorance, darkness, and unworthiness; got alone, and poured out my complaint to God in the bitterness of my soul.—In the afternoon I rode to Newark, and had some sweetness in conversation with Mr. Burr, and in praying together. O blessed be God for ever and ever, for any enlivening and quickening!
Lord’s-day, March 20. I preached in the forenoon: God gave me some assistance and sweetness, and enabled me to speak with real tenderness, love, and impartiality. In the evening, I preached again; and, of a truth, God was pleased to assist a poor worm. Blessed be God, I was enabled to speak with life, power, and passionate desire of the edification of God’s people. *In the evening, I felt something spiritual and watchful, lest my heart should by any means be drawn away from God. Oh, when shall I come to that blessed world, where every power of my soul will be incessantly and eternally wound up, in heavenly employments and enjoyments, to the highest degree!
[On Monday he went to Woodbridge, where the correspondents, instead of sending him to the Forks of Delaware, ordered him to go to a number of Indians, at Kaunaumeek, a place in the province of New-York, in the woods between Stockbridge and Albany. This alteration was occasioned by two things, 1. Information they had received of some contention now subsisting between the white people and the Indians at Delaware, which they supposed would be a hindrance at present to their entertainment of a missionary, and to his success among them. And, 2. Some intimations they had received from Mr. Sergeant, missionary to the Indians at Stockbridge, concerning the Indians at Kaunaumeek, and the prospect of success that a missionary might have among them.]