My dear Friend,
IT is impossible for me to judge rightly, till I know more of your affair, and then I doubt not, but God, if we ask in sincerity, will direct us both to agree in our sentiments, as to what will be most conducive to your eternal welfare. However thus much I can say, be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever. To marry a man in hopes of making him a Christian, will be leading yourself into temptation. The advantages you speak of may doubtless be great blessings to you, if you are very certain you can enjoy them. You ought to be very explicit with the person, whoever he is, both with regard to your sentiments and his own heart. You cannot imagine the continual snares you will walk in, if you are joined to one, who is not joined to Christ; especially if you have any fondness for him. As in a married state there are more allurements to draw the mind from God than in a single one, so (if the companion be a Christian) there are also advantages in it, which perhaps may almost make the balance even. But how dreadful will it be, if he who should be your help, prove to you an occasion of falling? Above all things, my dear, try the sincerity of your own heart. Examine well whether you can accept this offer with a single eye to the glory of God, and the good of your own soul; and fear not, if you ask counsel of God in faith nothing wavering, that he will give you freedom of mind, either to accept or refuse as will be most profitable for you.
I do not wonder that your soul is at present distracted with worldly thoughts. An affair of this kind always occasions a thousand distractions, especially where it is in suspense. I fear your increase of company does not at all add to your spiritual happiness. The Lord Jesus bless you: I pity you. What need have we of continual assistance from above? How do we walk as on burning coals? O let us strive for that state of mind, in which we can say, nothing gives me pain but what is contrary to the will of God, and tends to draw my soul from him; and nothing gives me pleasure, but as it is agreeable to his will, and tends to draw my soul nearer to him. Amen.
My dear Soul,
I AM glad to write to you once more under the name of ****, and I hope God will give me strength to say all I wish at this important juncture. Important it is indeed to you; and the nearer the time approaches, the more I feel for you. Alas, you are now plunging into difficulties, which you can have no notion of until you experience them. You will have need of more than double watchfulness. Oh cry earnestly to God for grace and strength to keep your soul from sinking under the delusive arguments, which your three grand enemies, the world, the flesh, and the devil will be continually attacking you with in your new state of life. You know, my love, in all our intercourse, I have not failed to set before you the disadvantages and distractions you must necessarily meet with in a married life. This I thought it my duty to do, though your intentions in regard to marriage were always founded upon Christian motives. Had I found you inclined to dedicate yourself more particularly to God in a single state, I should doubtless have encouraged that inclination; but as this was not the case, and I did not dare absolutely to dissuade any one from marrying, I have therefore only strove to guard you against the evils attending that condition, and pray God grant you may find them overbalanced by the good. The first evil, which people are apt to fall into when they marry, is an extreme selfishness: this I have seen most flagrant instances of, but then the people were not Christians. Oh my friend, remember you have taken upon you the sacred name of Christian. The next thing which our sex in particular is very subject to, is a pretty indolence of soul, and a kind of hugging themselves as though they were become people of vast consequence; and then all they say or do, and every thing which belongs to them, is of importance. You will think perhaps there is no danger of your falling into any thing so low and silly as this; but do not think so, for without extreme watchfulness it will steal imperceptibly upon you, and if you once grow important, the flood-gates of worldly-mindedness will be set open, and your faith, your love, and peace, will be borne away by the impetuous torrent. The Lord Jesus bless you and keep you, and grant that in all the changes of this mortal life, your heart may there be fixed where true joys are to be found.
Your ever-affectionate
****
My dear Friend,