I KNOW not how to assume to myself the character you mention, and yet I dare not neglect to do any thing, which you tell me may be of benefit to your soul. I know God can convey blessings by the meanest instrument, and relying wholly on his power and goodness, I enter again into this correspondence. You complain that I have not lately been so watchful over you as usual: In writing I certainly have not, and you know the reason; but as to speaking, if I have there failed, it is entirely owing to my being so apt to think highly of you. I fear in this I may have dealt with you as with my own heart—judged too favourably of both. May God give me a clearer insight both into you and into myself.
*I doubt not but your present condition contributes greatly to your being more in earnest, and you have need to lay up all the strength you can against what may be a time of trial indeed. I am glad you found such a blessing on Sunday. I doubt not but the greater degree of light and joy you have, the more you will be assaulted by temptations, and these perhaps not only of a strange, but also of an impertinent and ridiculous kind. The devil will sometimes play the buffoon: but I have found the best way of dealing with these temptations was not to combat them, but to let them pass through the mind, as you would let a troublesome croud of people pass by your door without regarding them.
*The speaking evil of your neighbour before you are aware, though it has not all the blackness of premeditated evil speaking, yet it is a sure sign, that you have not that spirit of love, without which the highest attainments are but as sounding brass, and as a tinkling cymbal. I often am sorry to see how much this divine temper is wanting amongst religious people. For my own part, I stand self-condemned in this, though it is a sin, which I have even a natural aversion to; and I fear there are but few hearts in which this root of bitterness does not grow almost imperceptibly. However, the Captain of our salvation can give us to tread even this enemy under our feet. Let us therefore go on, nothing discouraged, trusting in his help, and following his steps, until we apprehend, that for which we are apprehended of this divine leader.
Your ever affectionate and faithful, &c.
My dear Friend,
*MR. V. has desired me to meet Dr. **** at his house; but though I honour the character of that worthy man, yet I rather fear, than desire to do this. I really now dread the being set up as something to be thought well of. I see such a depth of pride and self-love in my own heart, that I dread any thing, which can give the least food to these hellish tempers. I am well satisfied, that there can be no perfect peace, no perfect love, till these be done away. Was not the blessed Jesus meek and lowly of heart? Was not he despised and rejected? And we? Oh, my dear love, tremble for yourself and for me. We are esteemed, admired, and sought after. Do we not, think you, tread upon burning coals? How dangerous, how difficult to act for the glory of God, without sacrificing something to self? And this self is all that separates from God—this self is all that keeps the blessings both of time and eternity from our souls. Oh let us learn, and know and feel, that we are nothing, and that God is all in all. Certain it is that unless we die with Christ, we cannot rise to his life. Unless we are crucified with him here, we cannot reign with him hereafter. Let us then nail our corrupt nature to his cross, and continually mortify every temper that is contrary to his perfect will. Suffer we must; but the love of God will make all sufferings sweet, and his grace will enable us to conquer all difficulties. I rejoice at the victory, which you tell me has been given you over (I suppose) some reigning sin. Is not this encouragement to press forward? If you would preserve constant peace and recollection, look more into your own heart, and lay not out yourself too much upon others. I have seen so much of the ill effects of this, that I dread it both for you and myself. Watch continually.
Your ever affectionate, &c.
****