“This manna to my soul be given,
Sent from the tree of life in heaven.”
Friday 17. This day being Good-Friday, we went to the sacrament at the Cathedral, but in no means whether public or private, was my soul blest, tho’ I found great attention to the sermon preached by Mr. G——d in the evening, upon the words with which our once dying, tho’ now ever living Saviour closed his suffering, painful life! It is finished. John xix. 30. Amazing truth!
“’Twere bold to think it true,
If not far bolder still to disbelieve.”
That the author and possessor of life eternal, should himself become a prey to death! And for whom? For angels? No, when they left their first and blest estate, it was irretrievably lost. For his friends? No, but for enemies, for rebels, for vile apostates, for ungrateful sinners! Well might the apostle cry out, “O the length and breadth, the depth and height of this stupendous love!” This day was the sad anniversary on which I parted from the tenderest, best of parents, and took a long, if not a last farewel of my native land; whether I shall ever see that, or my dearest parents more, the Lord knoweth.
“But O may we all meet on that peaceful shore,
Where pain, and death, and parting are no more!”
Sunday, May 3. For this fortnight my soul has been in general in a lifeless, inactive frame; and I have found little blessing in any means, except private prayer; in this I have been frequently quickened and refreshed.
Sunday 24. Blessed be God, I found my soul refreshed in private prayer this day, but I had hard work in the evening to keep my mind stayed on God, and attentive to the sermon.