*My mind was much taken up all the evening, and the following day, with the thought of death; which occasioned many serious reflections. I think if the Lord would make me meet for glory, I could (young as I am,) quit the world, and not leave a wish behind: but the Lord’s will be done!
Thursday, December 10. My uncle gave an exceeding comfortable and profitable discourse from Isaiah xl. 1. Comfort ye, Comfort ye my people, saith your God. My soul was much refreshed, herein God fulfilled that promise, Before they call, I will answer, for I went without the least expectation of a blessing, and scarcely dared to pray for one, knowing my great unworthiness. However the Lord met me, and gave fresh hopes and desires, for which may I bless his name, while I have breath.
*Sunday 13. In the evening Mr. C——k preached a sermon on these awful words, Revelation vi. 17. For the great day of his wrath is come, and who shall be able to stand? Who indeed but those who have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb, who have made the judge their friend! These and these only shall stand with boldness in that day. Lord, shall I be one of that number?
Friday 25. I found a blessing at the Lord’s table, where I solemnly dedicated myself to him, who gave himself for me. O may it be unreservedly and irrevocably! Lord, here is my heart; O take and seal it; seal it for thy courts above.
Sunday 27. Our house being in such confusion, as it has been for some days past, by reason of the sickness which has been in it, my mind has not been in that composed sweet frame as I could wish: but one blessing I have experienced, which is, I have been enabled to exercise patience, so as not to murmur and fret, tho’ every thing has gone cross with me. Nay thro’ the mercy of God, I have rejoiced in it: and been thankful for having an opportunity of chearfully bearing the cross; for all which I desire to praise my God.
Monday, December 23. In the evening Mr. T——r made a useful discourse on Lamentations iii. 22. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. He shewed the many ways whereby we might have been consumed; and the many mercies we have received from God. When I first went into the chapel, my mind was exceedingly disturbed by many evil tempers. But in singing this verse,
“From anger set our spirits free,
It worketh not thy righteousness:
In patience let us wait on thee,
And quietly our souls possess:”