And one day as I was sitting in my room, the power of God came mightily upon me, and those words were applied to my heart, in a manner I cannot express, Thou art all fair, my love: there is no spot in thee. It is impossible to tell how my soul was filled with love: surely it was angel’s food! I was called down to dinner, but could eat nothing: On this one said, ‘Nancy, have you got the second blessing?’ I did not know how to answer to this, or what name to call it by. But I said, I never was so happy in all my life: I am quite filled with love. And from that time I have continued, except some weeks in the beginning of last year, (when I was hurt by disputing about a third person) rejoicing evermore, praying without ceasing, and in every thing giving thanks. My particular prayer was, that God would give me all the grace which he had promised in his word.”
From the time that this disorder began, it was her constant prayer, “Lord, if I recover, let it be to thy glory; if not, thy will be done! Only do not take me hence, till thou hast finished thy work in my soul.” This, she added, “is my whole desire. And I must bear this testimony, the Lord Jesus hath always, on his part, been faithful and gracious to me. And though, on my part, I have been much wanting, yet he hath borne with me and mightily blessed my soul.”
Her mother told me, “Yesterday I thought she was expiring; she did not appear like herself; till she broke out, ‘The goodness of God has been so manifested to my soul, that I could not speak. Those words were spoke to my heart, I have loved thee with an everlasting love. And, Thou shalt be mine, in that day, when I make up my jewels. O! I have sweet foretastes of heaven! I would gladly go to him my soul loves.’”
Sunday 9. I saw her again. She was then so weak, she could hardly speak to be heard. But after I had spoke a few words of the love of Jesus, she found strength and said, “The first Sunday in February last, at the sacrament, I did indeed eat his flesh and drink his blood. The glory of the Lord shone into my soul, and I felt so much of his love, it was almost more than my feeble body could bear: it was a real foretaste of heaven.” She said, “Three nights ago I was in exquisite pain, such as I never felt before: but every pain was a spring to my soul, to lift me up to heaven. I could thank him for all, and methought I would not recover for the whole world. Indeed the love of Jesus so ravishes my soul that I would not have [♦]one pain less than he pleases.” Then correcting herself she said, “Pain! It cannot be called pain: his presence makes it heaven to me!” One said, “He has brought you through the wilderness, within sight of the good land.” She said, “O yes! O yes! He has; and he will be with me through the valley; this I cannot doubt.” I then took my leave and saw her no more. What follows, I had from those that attended her.
[♦] “on” replaced with “one” per Errata
She exhorted all that came, particularly those that sat up with her, to redeem the time. To one she said, “O Sally, turn to God with your whole heart: you have but little time:” and to them all, “Make haste! Get ready! You have no time to spare.”
Afterward Satan was permitted to thrust sore at her. Waking out of sleep, she began to reproach herself, for sleeping, saying, “If I had not slept, it would not have been thus with me. I cannot doubt of the favour of my Lord: neither can I fear his casting me into hell. But I am tempted to think, I shall have sore distress at the hour of death.” This lasted some hours; but in the evening she said, “Christ is come, and Satan is gone.” Nor was he suffered to trouble her any more. All that followed was peace and love.
Yet she was exceedingly concerned for her mother, lest she should not freely give her up to God. Her mother was asked, Whether she could or no? She answered, “Since it is the will of God to take her, I do give her up freely.” And this reply gave her entire satisfaction.
The day before she died, the thought of being for ever with the Lord, was transporting to her soul. But she said to her mother, “I charge you when I am dead, let none of the wicked come into the room. Let it be filled with those that fear God; and while they are singing the praises of God below, I shall be singing them above.”
About three in the morning she said earnestly, “O precious Christ! O precious Christ!” These were her last words: but she still expressed her happiness, sometimes by lifting her eyes towards heaven, and sometimes by looking pleasantly on those about her, till her sight failed, and her spirit went up to God.