Some years before she died, she now and then wrote down a little of her experience. I believe these accounts, imperfect as they are, will be acceptable to the pious reader.
“April 10, 1764. The Lord has blessed me in a wonderful manner. Glory and praise to his great name! O that thy praise may dwell on my heart! O my Lord, enable the unworthiest of thy servants, to give thee thanks for thy unspeakable love! O that I could invite all to taste and see how good thou art, how full of truth and grace! O thou unexhausted fountain of love, enable me every moment to cast myself upon thee, and to receive out of thy fulness grace for grace.”
I continued thus for five days, yet with many wanderings from my God: but I had this cry in my heart, Dear Lord, deliver me from a heart so prone to wander from thee!
Tuesday, May 22. As I was at my work, these words came to my heart with power, I will take away the heart of stone, and will give thee an heart of flesh. I was lost in wonder, yet found unbelief till those words were spoke to my heart, Ye are clean through the word I have spoken. I found a change in myself from that moment, and could say, I love thee with every faculty of my soul. Truly I can say, that God is love! And that he delights to do his needy creatures good.
September 14, 1765. I had a greater desire than usual to retire from the world: yea even from the converse of the holiest Christians, to wait upon God alone. I wanted to have a closer acquaintance with the blessed Jesus. Happy he that can go to God at any time, praying to him with faith and fervency. My God, all my soul cries aloud for more of thy light and love! O my Lord, manifest thyself in me more fully! None living has greater cause to love and serve thee.
Sunday 15. The sermon at church caused some heaviness; but I was refreshed at the Lord’s table. O Jesus, assist me to look through every means, to thee, the fountain of life and love!
Monday 16. The sermon was as marrow and fatness to my soul. I did truly wait upon God. I have been happy this whole day: Jesus has been precious to me. I found him in every means of grace: he is near me in every time of need. I see much of my helplessness and weakness.
Every moment, Lord, I want
The merit of thy death.
Tuesday 17. I have found this day, most comfortable communion with Jesus, and free access to the throne of grace. Yet I have been greatly tempted: but the Lord stood by me, and made a way for me to escape. I want to be all attention to his voice, and to be more dead to the things of time and sense: let me have no will, O Jesus, but thine! Let thy will be done in me and by me!