and does not despise the day of small things.
I know I have been unfaithful to the grace of God; yet [♦]he pardons without upbraiding. O that every future moment may prove, I feel the time past sufficeth! When I consider you as a younger scholar, I am ashamed; yet I rejoice the Master loveth us both. And though he may justly say to me, “O, slow of heart to understand,” yet he teaches me, as I am able to receive, the lesson of his love. I often meet your spirit, when I go in secret before our Lord. He only knows, how much I desire you may increase, with all the increase of God. May you follow the Lamb in all things! I praise him, that he unites me to himself, and to all whose fellowship is with him: I thank him who gives us to drink into one spirit. My heart feels God continually nigh. My only wish is his will; my only desire his glory.
[♦] “ye” replaced with “he”
Good Friday.
*IT is given to you to suffer: and happy are you, if our Lord counts you meet to be his companion in the garden. I love his tempted followers above all: and his peculiar care is towards such as drink of his cup. I am thankful to him on behalf of your soul. Faithful is he that hath called you. He will establish your heart, and keep you from all evil, unto his heavenly kingdom.
I always find a fight before a conquest. I am generally warned of approaching trials, and when I am most filled with the consolations of God, I see how amiable it is to follow my Captain, who was made perfect through sufferings. He is daily teaching me the lesson of his cross. When it ceases to be necessary I shall suffer no more. I am often sensible, my own folly obliges him to put me to pain. I know he never willingly afflicts, but chastens in order to make us partakers of his holiness.
O praise our everlasting Friend, who never shews us a defect, but in order to amend it: my soul longeth to live to him. I feel his mercies new every morning. My spirit is so united to the Lord Jesus, that I am persuaded nothing shall separate me from his love. But I have no fruit of the Spirit, in the fulness I desire or expect. I am sensible my privileges are far higher than my attainments: and I want to be stirred up daily, to take the kingdom which is before me by violence.
Of late I have found private prayer the means which brought me nearest to God: but this he often varies, as his wisdom sees best. My soul is more simple than it was: I am learning to leave others to the care of our Shepherd, and desire only to hear and follow him. Let your soul delight itself in him: learn to know how he hath loved you. Be very active in his cause, and passive to his will. My spirit is all peace. May your’s be preserved in Christ Jesus, who hath called you to glory and immortality.