La Clavel noticed a marked difference in Charles, but proclaimed that it was no more than an increase in his natural propensity for high-mindedness. It fatigued her, she declared, to be with him, made her dizzy to gaze up at his altitude of mind. He was seated in her room, the hairdresser was sweating in the attempt to produce an effect she was describing to him with phrases as stinging as the whip of foils, while Charles watched her with a degree of annoyance. Her humors, where he was concerned, were unpredictable; and lately she had found a special 152 delight in attacks on his dignity. She said and did things—an air of innocence hiding her malice—indecently ribald that shook his firmest efforts to appear, to be, unconcerned.
At last, in a volatile rage, she dismissed the servant with his tongs and pomatum and crimping leads, and swore to Charles Abbott that she was going to the Argentine by the first boat that offered passage.
“I am sick of Cuba, and I’ve forgotten that I am an artist, and that is bad. You are wrapped up in this liberty, and that is very well for you, an ordinary person. You must have something like that, outside you, to follow, for you’ve very little within. But me, I am not an ordinary person; I am La Clavel. I am more valuable to the world than pumpkins or republics. I stamp my heel,” she stamped her heel, a clear sharp sound, and her body swept into a line passionate and tense, “and I create a people, a history.” La Clavel secured the castanets lying on her dressing-table—in answer to their irritable rhythmic clinking she projected, for an instant, a vision of all desire.
“I can make men forget; I can draw them out of their sorrows and away from their homes; I can put fever in their blood that will blind them 153 to memories and duty. Or I can be a drum, and lead them out, without a regret, a fear, to death. That is more than a naranjada or a cigar or an election. And, because of what I have given you, I have put that out of my life; I have been living like the mistress of a bodega. To be clear, Charles, I am tired of you and Cuba, and I have satisfied my hatred of the officers with cologne on their handkerchiefs.”
“I understand that perfectly,” Charles Abbott assured her; “and I cannot beg you to stay. Whatever your motive was, your value to us has been beyond any payment. If our movement had a saint, you would fill that place.”
She laughed, “A strange saint in a mantón and slippers with painted heels.”
“Much better,” Charles replied, “than many of those in sanctified robes. I had the feeling, too,” he proceeded, “that our usefulness together was coming to an end.” It seemed to him that again she had become the glorified figure of the stage, his dislike for her actuality, her flesh, vanished, leaving only profound admiration.
“I am amazed,” she said, in a lingering half humorous resentment, “that you never loved me, I never brought you a regret or a longing or made any trouble in your heart.”
“That was because I put you so high,” he explained. She raised her shoulders and objected that it was late for compliments.