The man who kan set himself to work, at enny thing, on 5 minnitts notiss, haz got one of the best trades i kno ov.
Virtew that kant whip Vice, in a fair stand up fite, enny time, aint worth having.
Q.–What's yure favourite style of buty?
A.–Mi mother's.
"Er'es the Errald, Times, Sun, World, and Tribune,"
Iz the yung merchants ear piercing kry,
"Got the orfull smash up on the rale rode,"—
And a kuntryman stops him to buy.
EAZY BOOTS.
One ov the eazyest things in this world iz a loose boot, it iz just az eazy az falling oph from a log, when yu are fast asleep. The man who fust invented tite boots committed suiside, so i hav been told, this waz kind in the phellow. But if he had committed suiside before he had been born, it would hav been kinder still. Eazy boots are one ov the luxurys ov life, what the other luxurys are i dont kno, and dont kare. Enney man who kan wear a tite boot, and enjoy it, iz either a martyr, or a phool, it makes but little difference which. Tite boots produce korns, bunyons, and swareing, and thare iz only one thing kan be said in their favour, they make a man forgit all hiz other sorrows. An eazy boot will humanize a sinner faster than two mishionary kan. Vanity iz the Godfather ov tite boots, and just so long az men mistake a number eleven foot, for a number nine boot, just so long we shall see them limping around, with boots on two sizes too small. Next to a klear conshience, for solid cumfort, and every day wear, cums an eazy boot.