I hav watched the donkey with a grate deal ov pashunt anxiety. They are about 3 foot hi, and sumthing like three foot six inches lengthwize. They hav a normal appetight, and will eat all the time, and more too. They aint partikular about their vittles, and will tri hard to swallo a hoss shu, but they kant do it. The donkey iz one ov naturs jokes, a sort ov pun on a horse, which i could never see the point to. They are az sett in their ways, az a gate post, and are the only live things that are too mutch for a klub. They will stand more pounding than a sheaf ov wet oats, without shelling out. The donkey haz 2 ears, and only 1 tale, and the ears are to the rest ov their boddy, like two steeples to a church. The donkey iz a sober, and misterious kuss. Fairwell yu sad, and thinking kritter, i may never again rite yure memoirs, but whether I dont, or do, I shall allways respekt yu, az a donkey, that's all. Az a cluss studdy, the donkey iz az full ov interest, az a mile stun, with the letterings all worn oph. Donkeys will liv forever, or thareabouts, and retain their buty, and intelligence to the last. Adew you graven image, you solid one, adew!
PONDER.
To lie about a man never hurts him, but to tell the truth about him sumtimes duz.
I think it iz good taste, and also good judgement, when a man prays for the sins ov the people, that he should count himself in.
I hav known men so pious that when they went out a fishing on Sunday, they allwuss prayed for good luk
a fakt, Josh Billings
The fly is a friendly kritter, tho i never see him the wuss for liquor,—but i hav often seen liquor, that waz a good deal the wuss for flys.