This month waz named after one Janus, a sharp sighted old chap, with a face like a pikaxe, so that he could look both ways at once, back onto the old year, and forward onto the new one. At the latter part ov his life he died of a thaw, leaving a snug little property, sum six or seven hundred dollars, which akordin tew one ov the bye-laws ov hiz will, waz invested in tin back thermometors, and distributed amung the suffering poor ov his native village, az mementoze ov Janus.
DOMESTIX RECEIPTS.
Tew find the square root ov a hog's noze, turn him into a gardin patch.
Tew enjoy a good reputashun, giv publickly, and steal privately.
Tew remove grease from a man's karakter, let him strike sum sudden ile.
Tew giv oysters an extra good relish, eat them at sumboddy else's expense.