When yu do go out, alwus go on the jump.
Dont never talk mutch on enny subjek, but alwus look kussid misterious.
Seldum go tew church, but when yu do, alwus leave before the church duz.
Charge everyboddy like thunder and litening.
If yu pholler theze rules clussly, and don't suckceed, yu kan kum tew the konklushun that the doktrine bizzness ain't so good as it waz last year.
Q.–Who waz the best-preserved woman that ever lived?
A.–Lot's wife.
Jane Lovell waz a farmer's wife,
A wife waz she wuth having, too;
For when Jane Lovell rooled up her sleeves,
Things round that hous begin tew flew.
