It is tru that sum ov the fashuns are absurd, and it is tru that sum ov the vartues are absurd also. If a fashun kant be maid tu square itself tu the rules ov either good cense or good taist, it aint fashun, it is consait. A grate menny folks ced that whoops was a failure, but tha held their own, and grew nisely; tha are realy evra thing in a hot da. I shud like tu set in one all thru Juli and August; a feller wud be as cool as a dog's nose in a wire muzzel.
The essa is thru.
The occasional effect of Santa Cruz Rum on a gentleman of genial spirits.—See page [80].
REMARKS.
Marrying a woman for her munny is vera mutch like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with yure own finger.
"Between tew evils chuze the least." Brandee and gin, for instance, which will yu hav?
Perhaps sum philosophick mind kan tell me why the Jews never eat whats on the left side ov a baked goose.
If men had a good deal more faith than tha had kommon sense, moste ov them wud expek tu liv, as Eliger ov old did.
When a man's harte gits up into his hed, his charitees will smell tu mutch ov wisdom; and when his hed gits down into his harte, his wisdom smells tu much ov charitee.
I wud as soon take a ten dollar kounterfit bill on the Kodfish Bank ov Nufoundland, as tu marry a woman with false hare, false teeth or a false buzzum.
Men don't repli tu real sarkasm.
Ginowine proverbs ar like good kambrick needles—short, sharp, and shiny.
The fust man who was born inter the wurld, killed the sekund one, and i aint sure but it wud hav bin a good plan if the men had tuk their turns at killing ever sinse.
Art improves a diamond, but kant make one.
"Gra hares are honarabil," but I kno ov a grate menny gra heds that the devil will keep under a glas kase, tu sho the curous in theze matters.