LXIX.
PHILOSOPHEE ON THE HALF SHELL.
I hav finally cum tew the conclusion that thare aint truth enuff in the world, just now, to do the bissiness with, and if sum kind ov compromise cant be had, the Devil might as well step in, and run the consarn at onst.
I always advise short sermons, espeshily on a hot Sunday. If a minister cant strike ile in boring 40 minutes, he has either got a poor gimblet, or else he is a boring in the rong plase.
Don't tell the world yure sorrows, enny more than you would tell them your shame.
Philosophers are like graveyards—they take all things just as they come, and give them a decent burial and a suitable epitaff.