"Six days shalt thou laber, and on the seventh rest,"—thare iz no laber in fun, and a Sunday newspaper does aul its work on Saturday.
I had rather tend one wedding than a dozen funerals; and a birth, even if it aint ennything more than the hatching ov a duck's eg, iz alwus another suckcess.
Life iz short, and that iz one grate reason whi it ought alwus tew be cheerful, and i fully beleaf, that when Gabrel blows hiz horn, the first ones that will rise, will ware a smile on their faces.
Judas betrayed with a laff, and a kiss, but the fun ov the thing waz, he went oph and hung hisself.
He that kant laff iz tew be pityed, and him that wont laff iz tew be feared.
I am clean thru. This iz my maiden speech, and i will bet 10 dollars that i won't never run the risk ov doing it agin. Adew.
XVII.
BILLINGS ON PILLS.
P'okeepsie, Jan. 1st, 1867.