Sum folks are always trieing tew see thru a millstone edgeways, when, if they would only turn it over on the flat side, they could look rite thru the hole.
Buty is like a ranebow—full ov promis, but short lived.
It aint best tu swop with yure relashuns, unless yu kan afford tew giv them the butt end ov the trade.
Amung the blu laws ov Konnekticut, (which are now obsolute,) are this—"No man shall chaw turbakker on Sunday, unless he swallers the spit."
Also, "No yung woman shal hav a rite tew git marrid, who kant make a donut that will keep at least one year, without loseing its twist."
I beleave in the universal salvashun ov men, but I want tew pick the men.
I beleave in suggar coated pills.—I also beleave that virtue and wisdum kan be smuggled into a man's soul bi a good natured proverb, better and deeper than tew be mortised into it with a wormwood mallet and chissell.
The pure don't gro old enny more than a mountain spring dus.
I don't think thare is enny rule for long life. I hav known men tew die before they was 40, from the effek ov a vegatabel diet, and i hav known others tew liv 75 years on salt pork and sider brandy, and then quit the pork on akount ov their helths, and live 15 years longer on the sider brandy alone.
"Give me liberty, or giv me deth"—but ov the 2 I prefer the liberty.