PERKUSSION CAPS.
I hold that a man has jist as mutch rite tew spel a word as it is pronounsed, as he has tew pronounse it the way it aint spelt.
Sticking up our nose don't prove enny thing, for the most sensitiff person in the world, when he is away from his kittles, is a bone biler.
But fu sights, in this life, are more sublime and pathetick, than tew see a poor, but virtuous yung man, full ov christian fortitude, struggling with a mustatch.
Common sense is most ginnerally dispised bi those who haint got it.
If I was asked which was the best way, in these days ov temptashun, tew bring up a boy, i should say—bring him up the back way.
It don't require enny edukashun tew tell the truth, but tew lie well dus.
We are told "that an honest man is the noblest work ov God"—but the demand for the work has been so limited, that i hav thought a large share ov the fust edishun must still be in the author's hands.
Men don't seem never tew git tired ov talking about themselfs, but i hav heard them when i thought they showed signs ov weekness.
If yu would make yurself agreeable, wherever yu go, listen tew the grivences ov others, but never relate yure own.