Finally—if our Grand Pops should cum among us, with the plans and precepts ov a hundred years ago, we, in our impudence and wickedness, would be caught laffing at them, while they, in virtuous sorrow, would be in tears over us, and thus would be enakted the scenes which alwus ensews when fools and sages meet.
XXX.
OATS.
Munny has dun one thing fur the world that no thing else could hav did so well—it has developed the phools.
The best kind ov advice fur me tew foller is this: "Pay tew the order ov Josh Billings 50 dollars and charge mi akount—John Burch." I had rather hav 10 Dollars ov this kind ov advice than six hundred in Christian consolashun; there is more sassage in it.
Although mankind worship wealth, I will give them credit fur one thing—they seldom mistake it fur brains.
Most aul the grate things hav bin did by taking the chances. Prudence has but one eye, while fortune has a thousand.
If a man has 2 stummuks and 2 outsides, thare might be sum excuse fur adding 10 thousand dollars more each year tew his pile.
I don't read enny boddy else's poetry but Homer's, upon the same principle that i alwus drink, when it is just as handy, out ov a spring, instead ov the outlet.