I hav seen babys that i hav refused tew kiss untill they had been washt; but the baby want tew blame for this, neither waz i.
Thare are folks in this world who say they don’t luv babys, but yu kan depend upon it, when they waz babys sumboddy loved them.
Babys luv me, too. I kan take them out ov their mothers’ arms just az eazy az i kan an unfleged bird out ov hiz nest. They luv me bekauze i luv them.
And here let me say, for the comfort and consolashun ov all mothers, that whenever they see me on the cars or on the steambote, out ov a job they needn’t hesitate a minnit tew drop a clean, fat baby into mi lap; i will hold it, and kiss it, and be thankful besides.
Perhaps thare iz people who don’t envy me all this, but it iz one ov the sharp-cut, well-defined joys ov mi life, mi love for babys and their love for me.
Perhaps thare iz people who will call it a weakness, i don’t 132 care what they call it, bring on the babys. Unkle Josh haz always a kind word and a kiss for the babys.
I love babys for the truth thare iz in them, i aint afraid their kiss will betray me, their iz no frauds, ded beats nor counterfits among them.
I wish i was a baby (not only once more) but forever-more.
“THE CRAB.”
Natur is fond ov a joke.