Bed buggs, when they hav grone aul they intend to, are about the size ov a bluejay’s eye, and hav a brown complexion, and when they start out to garrote are az thin az a grease spot, but when they git thru garroting they are swelled up like a blister.
It takes them 3 days tew git the swelling out ov them.
If bed buggs have enny destiny to fill, it must be their stummuks; but it seems tew me that they must hav bin made by acksident, jist az slivvers are, tew stick into sumboddy.
If they waz got up for sum wise purpose, they must hav took the wrong road, for there kant be enny wisdum in chawing a man aul night long, and raising a family, besides, tew foller the same trade.
If there iz sum wisdum in aul this, I hope the bed buggs will chaw them folks who kan see it, and leave me be, bekause i am one ov the hereticks.
THE FLEA.
The smallest animal ov the brute creashun, and the most pesky, iz the Flea.
They are about the bigness ov an onion seed, and shine like a bran new shot.
They spring from low places, and kan spring further and faster than enny ov the bug-brutes.
They bite wuss than the musketoze, for they bite on a run; one flea will go aul over a man’s subburbs in 2 minnitts, and leave him az freckled az the meazels.