Let the lily, and the roze, strive together in mi cheek, and may mi nek swim like a goose on the buzzum ov krystal waters.
Enable me, oh Fortune, to wear shoes still a little smaller, and save me from all korns, and bunyons.
Bless Fanny mi lap dog, and rain down bezom ov destruckshun upon thoze who would hurt a hair ov Hektor mi kitten.
Remove far from me all the wails of the sorrowful, and 40 shield mi sensitiff natur from the klamours ov the widder.
Shed the light ov thi countenance on mi kammel’s hair shawl, and mi necklace ov dimonds, I beseech thee.
Enable the poor to shirk for themselfs, and save me from all missionary beggars.
I hav always ben a friend to thee, oh Fortune, therefore bless me for ever, and ever.
THE BIZZY BODY.
I don’t mean the industrious man, intent, and constant in the way of duty, but he who, like a hen, tired ov setting, cums clucking oph from the nest in a grate hurry, and full ov sputter, az fat spilt on the fire; scratching a little here, and suddenly a little thare; chuck full ov small things, like a ritch cheeze; up and down the streets, wagging around evry boddy, like a lorst dorg; in and out like a long-tailed mouse; az full ov bizzness az a pissmire, just before a hard shower; more questions tew ask than a prosekuting attorney; az fat with pertikulars, az an inditement for hog stealing; as knowing az a tin weathercock.