It takes branes tew make a smart man, but good luck often makes a famous one.
Opinyuns are like other vegetables, worth just what they will fetch.
I think most men had rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.
Love cuts up all sorts ov monkey shines, it makes a fool sober, and a wize man frisky.
I don’t beleave in total depravity, every man haz sumthing in him to show that God made him.
I suppoze that one reazon whi the “road to ruin” iz broad, iz tew accomadate the grate amount ov travel in that direkshun.
I think i had rather hear a man brag about himself, than tew hear him brag all the time ov sum one else—for i think i like vanity a leetle better than i do sickofansy.
A humbug iz like a bladder, good for nothing till it iz blowed up, and then ain’t good for nothing after it iz pricked.
A bigg noze iz sed tew be a sighn ov genius—if a man’s genius lays in hiz noze, i should say the sign waz a good one.
Vanity iz seldom malishous.