Most people travel to see and be seen; but few to compare.
Fools are telling us (confidensally) “that time is short,” but the diffikulty lies not in the shortness ov time so mutch az it duz in the length ov the fools.
Children are kut down like the yung wheat, to ripen; old people are gathered like the golden grain, to be ground and bolted.
The only way tew truli enjoy ennything iz tew be willing tew quit it when the bell rings.
Time iz like a fair wind—if we don’t set our sails, we looze that breeze forever.
We are often ridikuled for telling old truths. The 10 commandments are old enuff tew be wore out with truth; but who follers them?
Take man, from Adam down to April fool 1868, and i would respekfully ask, if he ain’t a ded beat? Iz thare a single pashun ov hiz natur, up to date, that yu kan take the halter ov civil law off from, and turn it out to grass?
Waking up in the morning, to a virtuous man, iz the same thing az being born agin.
“Necessity iz the mother ov invenshun,” and Pattent Wright iz the father.
It dun me good to hear a poor brute whinner in Broadway yesterday. I waz glad that thare waz one stage hoss in New York citty whoze heart wasn’t dead broke.