Men seem tew me, now-a-days, tew be divided into slow Christians and wide awake sinners.
Thare iz lots ov folks who are like a pump, not ov enny use tew themselfs, but simply a handle and suckshun for others.
All happiness iz like gold quartz, thare iz four quartz ov stone to one ounce ov gold.
Hope and Debt are partners in trade—Hope hunts up the customers and Debt skins them.
Hunger iz a slut hound on a fresh track.
Toil swets at the brow, but idleness swets all over.
Dispair iz the ashes ov hope, which the wind ov tribulashun skatters.
A man has got about done going down hill when he gits whar he brags on hiz lazyness; such a kritter is ov no more use tew himself nor others than a frozen-tew-death rooster in a barnyard.
He who spends all hiz substance in charity will undoutedly git his reward here and hereafter; but hiz reward here will be the poor-house.
Give a smart child a pack ov kards and a spellin book, and he will larn tew pla a good game ov hi lo jak long before he kan spell a word ov two sillables.