The grate desire ov mi life iz tew amuze sumboddy. I had rather be able tew set the multiplikashun table tew sum lively tune than tew hav bin the author ov it.
The man who never makes enny blunders seldum makes enny good hits.
Truth iz the only thing that Time cannot destroy, and Eternity cannot dispense with.
Life iz short, but if yu notis the way most people spend their time, yu would suppoze that life waz everlasting.
The grate advantage ov good breeding iz that it makes the phools endurable.
The snobs are all either half-breeds or dunghills.
Forms and cerimonys are just az mutch necessary in the church az uniforms are in the field; strip an army ov its cockades and brass buttons, and it would bekum a mob.
Ill bred people are alwus the most cerimonius, the kitchen alwus beats the parlor in punktillio.
If yu want tew be good, all yu hav tew do is tew obey God, luv man, and hate the devil.
Politeness iz the cheapest investment I kno ov, it iz like lighting another man’s kandle bi yours.