Thare iz no grater fun for me than tew prick a bladder—windy folks will please make a note ov this.
Contentment iz mere instinkt, reazon teaches us that thare ain’t no sich thing, nor hadn’t ought tew be enny sich thing, in this world.
About az good a way tew learn people az enny tew respekt yu, iz tew run over them; if yu let them run over yu they certainly won’t.
I hope i shall never hav so mutch reputashun that i shan’t feel obliged to be alwus civil.
Thare seems tew be this difference between an old widdower and an old bachelor; the widdower livs upon faith, and the bachelor on hope, and this ackounts for the widdower alwus beating the bachelor in a ring fight, for the hand ov beauty.
Marrying tew suit other folks iz the prudery ov politeness; i should az soon think ov begging pardon ov a thorn, for running aginst it.
An Englishman correkts hiz mistakes before he makes them; a Yankee afterwards.
Fashions are made for sum folks, and sum folks are made for fashion.
Thoze people who hav a grate deal ov perfekt propriety, i notiss, don’t hav mutch ov enny thing else.
Tew enjoy a good reputashun, giv publickly, and steal privately.