When they do hug each other, they mean sumthing.
Pitty, without respekt, hain’t got much more oats in it than disgust haz.
I had rather a man would hit me on the side ov the hed than tew pitty me.
But thare iz one man in this world to whom i alwus take oph mi hat, and remain uncovered untill he gits safely by, and that iz the distrikt skoolmaster.
When I meet him, I look upon him az a martyr just returning from the stake, or on hiz way thare tew be cooked.
He leads a more lonesum and single life than an old bachelor, and a more anxious one than an old maid.
He iz remembered jist about az long and affektionately az a gide board iz by a traveling pack pedlar.
If he undertakes tew make hiz skollars luv him, the chances are he will neglekt their larning; and if he don’t lick them now and then pretty often, they will soon lick him.
The distrikt skoolmaster hain’t got a friend on the flat side ov earth. The boys snow-ball him during recess; the girls put water in hiz hair die; and the skool committee make him work for haff the money a bartender gits, and board him around the naberhood, whare they giv him rhy coffee, sweetened with mollassis, tew drink, and kodfish bawls 3 times a day for vittles.
And, with all this abuse, I never heard ov a distrikt skoolmaster swareing enny thing louder than—Condem it.