Fortunately he iz not often a sensitive man; if he waz, he couldn’t enny more keep a distrikt skool than he could file a kross kut saw.
Whi iz it that theze men and wimmen, who pashuntly and with crazed brain teach our remorseless brats the tejus meaning ov the alphabet, who take the fust welding heat on their destinys, who lay the stepping stones and enkurrage them tew mount upwards, who hav dun more hard and mean work than enny klass on the futstool, who have prayed over the reprobate, strengthened the timid, restrained the outrageous, and flattered the imbecile, who hav lived on kodfish and vile coffee, and hain’t been heard to sware—whi iz it that they are treated like a vagrant fiddler, danced to for a night, paid oph in the morning, and eagerly forgotten?
I had rather burn a coal pit, or keep the flys out ov a butcher’s shop in the month ov August, than meddle with the distrikt skool bizzness.
SINGULAR BEINGS.
THE POMPOUS MAN.
The pompous man iz generally a snob at home and abroad.
He fills himself up with an east wind and thinks he iz grate just bekauze he happens tew feel big.
He talks loud and large, but deceives noboddy who will take the trubble tew meazzure him.
He iz a man ov small caliber, but a good deal ov bore.
Hiz family looks upon him az the gratest man that the world haz had the honor to produce lately, and tho he gits snubbed often amungst folks, lie rekompenses himself bi going home and snubbing hiz family.