If he waz a going tew liv hiz life over again, he tells yu, he wouldn’t alter it, only he would eat more raw onions and be a hard-shell baptist.
Every man remembers him az a man too stubborn tew be very viscious, with a few ideas, sum ov which he inherited, but most ov which he got by sleeping with hiz mouth wide open.
THE POSATIFF MAN.
The posatiff man bets hiz last dollar on a kard and looses, and then tells yu he knew he shouldn’t win.
He alwus knows what will happen 3 weeks from now, and if it don’t happen he knew that too.
If he falls down on the ice and breaks hiz leg it want an accident, it waz sumthing that couldn’t help but happen.
He iz az certain ov everything az a mule iz anxious tew hit what he kicks at.
Yu kant tell him ennything new, nor ennything old, he iz more certain ov things than Webster’s unabridged dickshionary.
The less certain yu are the more posatiff he iz.
He never made but one blunder in hiz life and that turned out at last tew be a good hit.