The pashunt man never sez “dam it,” however much he may think so.
He iz so well-ballanced that it takes at least fifty pounds ov musketeze tew turn hiz skales.
He kan’t tell yu what makes him so pashunt if yu ask him; it may be nothing but numbness after all.
Pashunce iz like enny other virtew, its value konsists in its power tew resist temptashun.
It ain’t but little trubble for a graven image tew be pashunt, not even in fly time.
Real pashunce stands amung the virtews, like genius amung the gifts; in fakt, pashunce, iz the genius ov virtew.
The best thing i kno ov, tew try a man’s pashunce on, iz a kicking heifer, if he finds himself praying for the heifer every time she kicks, he haz got pashunce on the heart, and brain both.
THE FUNNY MAN.
The funny man kan’t open hiz mouth without letting a joke fly out, like ginger pop, when the kork iz pulled out.
Thare iz no genuine wit in the simply funny man, hiz only desire iz tew make yu laff, and real wit don’t stoop so low.