Tew look upon the trak that life takes—tew see the sunshine and shower—tew plead for the best, and shrink from the wust—tew shudder when sikness steals on, and tew be chastened when death comes—tiz this—oh! tiz this that makes the fust baby a hope upon arth, and a gem up in heaven.
JOSH BILLINGS UNDER OATH.
Josh Billings being duly sworn, testifys az follers: Eight wont go into 6 and hav mutch ov enny thing left over. Menny a yung fellow haz found out this sum in arithmeticks 384 bi trieing tew git a number 8 foot into a number 6 boot.
Virteu, in one respekt, iz like munny. That which we hav tew work the hardesst for sticks tew us the best.
Men ov phew but aktive branes hav the best exekutive abilitys. Their branes are like a bullit—compakt, and go strate for the bull’s eye.
Affektashun never improved enny boddy yet. It iz better tew be a devil than a hypokritt.
I hav often herd thare waz men who knew more than they could tell, but i never met one. I hav often met thoze who could tell a grate deal more than they did kno, and waz willing tew sware to it besides.
To be proof agin flattery, a man must hav no vanity, and such a man never existed; if he did, he iz now one ov the lost arts.
Hope haz made a grate menny blunders, but thare iz one thing about her that i alwus did like—she means well.