This iz the way that the fust dandy waz made, and, with a boquet in one hand and a looking-glass in the other, Dame Nature turned him loose into the world, to root.
The construckshun ov this creature of remnants iz peculiar.
A dissection ov a dandy, in the thirteenth century, revealed the fakt that hiz heart resembled a pin cushion, having no cells, the interior ov it being filled with cotton batting and sawdust, and stuck awl over the outside with rosettes, and dead butterflys, with pins through them.
Hiz head waz divided into innumerable little stalls, in each ov which waz deposited, in solution, a very small quantity ov brains, which ackted independent ov each other.
One stall waz devoted to kid gloves az a science, another to tight boots, and a third to colone water.
All hiz thoughts and affeckshuns are divided between the fit ov hiz clothes and the admirashun ov them.
Hiz ideas never grasp ennything stronger than Phalon’s last sensashun in perfumery; his whole emotional natur finds its nourishment and counterpart in a plate ov the last Paris fashions, hung up in a taylor’s window.
The genuine dandy—one who knows hiz bizzness—never falls in love with ennything but hiz looking-glass; hiz strongest pashun iz admirashun; he kant reach the dignity ov love.
To love, requires both brains and a soul; and a dandy in love would be az whimsikal a sight az a butterfly kneeling at the feet ov a tulip.
Your real dandy iz a long-lived bird; hiz pashions are weak, but regular, and like a watch, the works and the case wear out together.