This iz one way tew brake a kicking heifer, and after a man haz studdyed all the books in kreashun on the subjek, and tried them on, he will fall back onto mi plan, and make up hiz mind, az i did, that a kicking heifer iz wuth more for beef than she iz for theoretick milk.
I hav worked on a pharm just long enuff tew kno that thare iz no prayers so good for poor land az manure, and no theory kan beat twelve hours each day, (sundaze excepted) of honest labour applied tew the sile.
I am an old phashioned phellow, and hartily hate most nu things, bekauze i hav bin beat bi them so often.
I never knu a pharm that waz worked pretty mutch by theory, but what waz for sale, or to let, in a fu years, and i never knu a pharm that waz worked by manure, and muscle, on the good old ignorant way ov our ansestors, but what waz handed down, from father to son, and alwus waz noted for razing brawny armed boys, and buxom lasses, and fust rate potatoze.
What i kno about pharmin, iz nothing but experiense, and experiense, (now daze,) aint wuth a kuss.
I had rather hav a good looking theory, tew ketch flats with, than the experiense—even ov Methuseler.
Experiense iz a good thing tew lay down and die with, but yu kant do no big bizzness with it, (now daze,) it aint hot enuff.
Giv me a red hot humbug, and i kan make most ov the experiense, in this world ashamed ov itself.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
Qu.—Did you ever see an old horce, holler-eyed and bony, limp-legged and pur-blind, kivvered with a gold-plated harniss and waited upon by a spruce postillion, and a liveryed coachman?