The lovely Bridget McGuire (nee chambermaid) will be 453 brought to the alter, sum time this seazon, by the brilliant Dennis O’Tool.
Proffessor Norris haz just returned from the north pole, and reports the size ov the pole to be one foot in diameter at the base, and 94 feet hi. He also brought back with him a pair ov web footed duks.
The Miss Simphonys, ov Providence, are on a visit tew the Miss Sinbads, ov Lexington avenew—lovely creatures all ov them.
Mocking birds’ tongues on toast will be on the bills ov fare, this summer, at the Kontinental Hotel, Long Branch.
The Rev. Namby Pamby asked for a 4 thousand dollar hoist in his salary, or dismissal. The congregashun voted unanimus to let him went. (Bully for the kongregashun.)
Mrs. Ulrich Nikodemus haz changed the hour ov her resepshuns from haff past 2 o’klok P. M., on Wensdays, to a quarter of 3 on the same day, a change ov 15 minnits. Exchange papers will pleaze coppy.
Obadiah Bunkum sold hiz hameltonian pup Jerry, last week, tew Richards, the jews harp solo, for 50 thousand dollars, reserving the collar. This iz spoken ov az so mutch ov a dekline in prices az tew shake the pup market tew its center.
It it sed (but not offishall) that Mr. and Mrs. Punchinello will not visit the White Mountains this summer. Their dauter, 454 Betsy Punchinello, iz sed tew be affianced tew the Baron Von Chaulk, and the family will enter seklushun on this account.
Dick Blister waz arrested yesterday bi offiser Pinkerton for trieing tew pass a counterfit omnibus on a 50 cent driver ov the 23 street line ov stages.