Thare are others who aint happy unless they kan hear the pensiv murmers ov the bass drum, or the hoarse gutteral ov the trombone, or the pig like laffing ov the fife, or the jigger ov the banjo and the bones.
I hav nothing but pitty for sich depraved tasted critters, and look forward, with the joyful gush ov a missionary, to the time when bull frogs will set under every vine and fig tree, tickling the buzzom ov a Jews harp.
If i kan hav plenty ov Jews harps, and a bull frog, i dont kare if i dont never hear a hand orgin agin.
4 LETTERS.
Mister Bates.—The best kind ov bate for a rat, iz toasted cheeze, and the best kind ov a trap, iz the one, that will ketch them the oftenest, and hang onto them the most. It aint always a sure thing tew ketch a rat bi the tail, i hav knew them tew bight oph their tail, just outside ov the jaws ov the trap, and thus save their rat meat.
Bob tailed rats hav ceased tew be a curiosity to me long ago.
Once i should hav looked upon a bob-tailed rat with mingled pheelings ov pitty, and suprise, but them daze hav fled from me, i look upon a bob-tailed rat now, as a cluss bizzness transackshun.
Rats are one ov the far-famed butys ov civilashun, they wont live in the wildernes, and i wouldn’t if i waz they.
Sum folks are so enlightened they kant bear rats, but az i lay in mi bed, at mi boarding hous, at the deceased hours ov night, it iz one ov mi priviliges, tew hear the rats chawing holes throu the base boards, and playing tag in the wainscote.