I hav seen wimmin in opera, and also hav seen them in fits, and prefer the fits, for then i kno what tew do for them.
Yu must git sum proffessor ov musik tew answer yure letter, for i don’t kno enny more about klassikal musik than i do about being a mother-in-law.
Theze are two very hard things tew komprehend.
I understand all about ice kream, and if yu ever kum down our way, we will hav a bowl ov it together.
It dont seem tew require enny branes tew luv ice kream, and i dont kno az it duz tew luv musik.
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Pensive Rebekker.—I got yure letter bi mistake, for the letter yu sent me, yu wrote for the other phellow.
I am only sorry on the other phellow’s ackount, for yure deskripshun ov him, which i should hav received, may worry him.
It don’t hurt my pheelings tew be called a “pokey dunce.”
I never waz mutch ov a favourite, not even with miself, and often think i am what yu kall me, a “strapping monster.”