Kissing, az a general thing, iz not very interesting tew bystanders, and iz sumtimes even looked upon, by a third party, az uncalled-for.
“Warwick.”—“He that giveth tew the poor, lendeth tew the Lord,” if yu had read yure Bible az mutch az i hav, yu wouldn’t hav asked me if Shakespeare wrote this remark.
Charity iz az mutch ov a privilege, az it iz a duty, and lending to the Lord, iz undoubted security, for enny man’s munny.
He that gives nothing away while living, dies a bankrupt, and hiz estate iz generally settled by hiz heirs, a good deal az the crows settle a ded hoss, by pitching into the remains.
Thare iz menny folks whoze hearts bile with charity, but whoze extremitys are cold, a half a dollar kontrakts tew a 3 cent piece, by the time it reaches the end ov their fingers.
“Gildad.”—Yure juicy letter haz questions enuff tew make 496 a distrikt-school-master faint, and if i should answer them all, yu would be fuller ov edukashun than an aulmanak.
Who the author ov the saying, “the good die yung,” waz, i don’t care, but i will remark, if that iz a good bet, the yunger a man kan die the better; and not tew be born at all, iz a ded sure thing.
Again, az it regards the number ov years that a kat kan live, that depends entirely upon circumstances, they kant liv over Sunday with me.
“Abel.”—Yu kant pick out a hipokrite by his looks, enny more than yu kan a fat oyster by the shell, they are frequently like an old musket, laid away up garret, hav often bin known, tew let oph a charge, that had been sleeping, with one eye open, for 3 years. They are like silver-plated forks, wear well for a long time, but are sure to show the odious brass at last.
“Hannibal.”—Giving presents, with the hope of receiving presents in return, takes away awl the cream ov giving, or receiving, it is like swopping skim-milk, for milk that has bin skimd.