Arly tew bed and arly tew rize, is either a thing of the past or a thing that ain’t cum—it certainly don’t exist in theze parts now.
It haz not only gone itself, but it haz took oph a whole lot ov good things with it.
This art will positively never be diskovered agin; it waz the child ov innocense and vigor, and this breed ov children are like the babes in the wood, and deserted bi their unkle.
“Honesty.”—Honesty iz one ov the arts and sciences.
Learned men will tell you that the abuv assershun iz one 89 ov Josh Billings infernal lies, and yer hav a perfekt rite tew believe them, but i don’t.
Honesty iz jist az much an art az politeness iz, and never waz born with a man enny more than the capacity to spell the word Nebuddkenozzer right the first time waz.
It took me seven years to master this word, and i and Noer Webster both disagree about the right way now.
Sum men are natrally more addikted tew honesty than others, jist az sum hav a better ear for musik, and larn how tew hoist and lower the 8 notes, more completely than the next man.
Honesty iz one ov the lost or mislaid arts—thare may be excepshuns tew this rule, but the learned men all agree that “excepshuns prove the rule.”
The only doubts i hav about this matter iz tew lokate the time very cluss, when honesty waz fust lost.