Flex. You are too uncouth. Did you hear nothing at home about the mind, about honesty, about modesty, and moderation?
Grym. In the church, sometimes, I have heard of these things from preachers.
Flex. When those who meet you see what is done by you, they judge that you are a modest, honest young man, approving of your actions towards them, judging modestly and thinking humbly of yourself. Thence the opinion of benevolence and graciousness is formed of you.
Grym. Please be more explicit.
Flex. If people knew that you were so proud that you looked down on them all with contempt, that you bared your head and bent your knee to them, not because that honour was due to them, but because it redounded to your honour to do it, do you think there would be any one who would take pleasure in you, or would love you for your honours sprung from such false dissimulation?
Grym. For why?
Flex. Because you do honour to yourself, and take pleasure in it—not to them. For who will consider himself indebted to you for that which you do for your sake? Or shall I receive your honour not for itself, but as an outlay which thou offerest for a good opinion of thyself, not as due to my merits?
Grym. So it seems.
The Teaching of the Better View of Education—Right Government of Oneself
Flex. Therefore, benevolence is won if people believe that honour is paid to them, not that thou shouldst be held more courtly and noble. This will not happen, unless they have the opinion of thee, that thou esteemest them higher than thyself and holdest them worthy of thy honour.