SQUATTING.
We may here add that the reasons which we have given for the impracticability of hand-shaking in a Japanese house, apply with equal force to the practice of kissing. A French writer has charged Japanese lovers with a lack of tenderness as they neither kiss nor shake hands. But what can the poor lovers do to kiss each other? They cannot fall into each other’s arms while they remain squatting, for squatting is not like sitting together on a sofa. When we sit up straight with our feet under us, the equilibrium of such a posture is as unstable as if we were perched on a high stool. It is very rude to remain standing and even to speak before squatting, so that kissing while we are on our legs is not to be thought of. To squat side by side may be pleasant, and it may be possible to snatch a kiss; but when they are locked in each other’s arms, the lovers would run a great risk of sprawling on the floor. To squat face to face with the knees touching, would require the body to be bent forward as if we were going to wrestle; and if the lovers were then to take each other’s arms, there would be a regular tussle and their balance would be more uneven than before. As they could not get at each other without finally rolling on the mats, sweethearts with any sense of decorum would have to forgo the pleasure of kissing; for when we squat, it is much easier to lie down on the floor than to get up again. Lovers, however, are not altogether without the means of approaching each other and feeling the electric thrill which the mere touch appears to give them; for, on the stage at least, their favourite position is to squat back to back and lean against each other. They are satisfied if their cheeks touch, for kissing is difficult without twisting the neck enough to sprain the muscles. Kissing, then, as a mode of salutation among lovers and near relatives, has never been recognised in this country, because the internal arrangement of our houses and other conditions of life have militated against its practice; and perhaps, could some means be found to bring about its appreciation by the bulk of the nation, that would be more efficacious than any other measure for the westernisation of our domestic life.
Though good manners are insisted upon at home, they are, needless to say, exhibited to the full in company when one makes a call or receives visitors. The usual manner in which a call is made and received is as follows:—The visitor, on going up to the front door, does not knock or ring as there is neither a knocker nor a bell-handle. He bawls out; and as the doors are all sliding-doors, he is easily heard, though he has sometimes to call out again and again before his voice reaches the kitchen. When the door is answered and the master of the house apprised of the call, the visitor is shown in; he leaves his hat, greatcoat, and umbrella in the porch and is ushered into the parlour. A cushion is immediately set for him and another for the host; but the visitor does not, unless he is an intimate friend, sit on it until his host comes in and urges him to do so. We often stand very much on ceremony in this respect; we take the cushion only upon repeated invitation; one who wishes to show great respect will decline to squat on it however much he may be pressed. The host and the visitor then bow to each other with their hands and foreheads on the mat. They apologise, if they are acquaintances, for past neglect to visit each other, ask after each other’s family, and probably, make a few observations on the weather, bowing with each remark, inquiry, and answer. A brazier is brought in if it is cold; but in warm weather a “tobacco-tray” is set before the host and the visitor. Tea and confectionery are also invariably offered. When the visitor leaves, there is another succession of bows, and the host and a servant see him to the porch and there bid him good-bye.
As to behaviour in company, the following quaint directions are given in an old book on etiquette for women, which though primarily intended for the instruction of the gentler sex, are also applicable to men, among whom the tendency is, as has already been remarked, to be somewhat lax in the observance of the minutiæ of etiquette:
“A woman should always get up early, wash her face, and carefully comb her hair, for it is rude to appear with dishevelled hair.”
“Do not stare at other people, male or female, and be very careful in your speech. Do not tell anything without being asked, make confessions, or speak boastfully of yourself, and above all, on no account speak ill of others.”
“When you are in the presence of your superior, do not scratch yourself; but if any part of your body itches so badly that you cannot help scratching it, put a finger on the spot and give it a hard scratch so that the itchiness may be absorbed in the pain so caused. Do not wipe sweat off your face or blow your nose; but if you must do so, run into the next room or turn your face away from your superior. In blowing your nose, first blow gently, then a little louder, and finally gently again. But you should, if possible, do these things before you come into your superior’s presence.”
“Do not use a toothpick in company, for it is extremely rude to talk with one in your mouth.”
“Do not pare your nails, comb your hair, or tighten your obi in company, or glance at a letter that another is reading or writing.”