When she said that and pressed both hands over her heart his whole attitude changed. It was true that under the influence of his love his skill had developed. Her lips grew pale and her eyes frightened. He made her lie down, loosened her dress, gave her restoratives. The pain had been but slight, and she recovered rapidly.
“It was entirely your fault,” she said when she was able to speak. “You know I can’t bear any agitation or excitement.”
“The last you’ll have through me, I swear it. You can trust me.”
“Until the first time the spirit moves you.” She never had considered his feelings and did not pause to do so now. “You’ve no self-control. You dump your ungainly love upon me....”
“And you throw it back in my face with both hands, as if it were mud. But you’ll never have another chance, never....”
She was a little sorry for him, and to show it reproached him more.
“Why do you do it, then? You know that, as far as I can be, I am engaged to Gabriel Stanton, that the moment the decree is made absolute we shall be married. Perhaps I ought not to have let you come so often....”
“I fell in love with you the very first moment I saw you. If I’d never seen you again it would have been the same thing. And you’ve nothing to reproach yourself with. You’ve made a different man of me. I play better.”
“And your taste in music has improved.” He looked so forlorn standing up and saying he played the piano better since he had known her, that she regretted the cruelty of her words. He had relieved her pain not once but many times. Instead of sending him away, as she had intended, she kept him with her until quite late. She let him tell her about himself; and what a change his love for her had brought into his life, and there was nothing he would not do, nor sacrifice for her. He said, humbly enough, that he knew she could never, never have cared for such a man as himself.
“Stanton has been to a public school and university, is no end of a swell at classics. I got what little education I have at St. Paul’s and the London University, walked the hospitals and thought well of myself for doing it, that I was coming up in the world. My father was a country dentist. I’ve studied more, learnt more since you’ve been here than in all my student days. You’ve opened a new world to me. I didn’t know there were women like you. After the girls I’ve met! You were such a ... lady, and all that. You are so clever too, and satirical, I don’t mind you being down on me. It isn’t as if you were strong.”