The True Woman / A Series of Discourses, to Which Is Added Woman vs. Ballot

by Justin D. Fulton

No wife would do what she is compelled to perform, or suffer what she is compelled to endure, for her board and clothes. It is when man refuses to give her more than these, she revolts. Man never won woman to leave her single life and her home comforts to enter his house as a helpmeet by a consideration of the work to be done. It was not in the contract. He talked then of love, of companionship, of help. The other was in the bond by mutual consent, but it was regarded as beneath their notice to talk about it. Her nature yearned for love, and lives on love.

Now, when a man forgets that love, companionship, and the thousand attentions which sweeten and brighten life, are due to his wife, and when he lifts up the drudgery and the slavery of life into prominence, and tells her that she is only fitted to hold a menial place, he insults, if he does not destroy the woman, and degrades himself. On the other hand, let a woman refuse to be influenced by this law of charity, and she becomes a curse instead of a blessing, a hinderance instead of a helpmeet.

It is a very common complaint that a good servant is difficult to find. Some are slovenly, some are dishonest, while those who are both able and truthful, are pronounced intolerable, frequently because of their impertinence. All can understand the reason. The servant has no interest in her employer who refuses to give anything. The servant works for so much money. "As to rights, privileges, and perquisites, it is not unfrequently either a battle or a sort of armed treaty between kitchen and parlor." Many will admit this, and will forget or ignore the cause. Listen to the servants' story, and you will find them complaining of the stinginess, or tyranny, or selfishness of the employer.

Let the law of charity rule both employer and employed, and behold the change. The mistress recognizes her weight of obligation to a good and faithful domestic. She feels that her services are beyond price, invaluable to her. The effect is seen at once. The sluggish step is quickened. Love takes the place of indifference if not of dislike, and the relations of friendship are at once recognized. No mistress has a right to expect that her servants will be bound to her by the ties of friendship, if she manifest no friendly feeling for them; or that they will become devoted to her interests, if she take no interest in their welfare. The law of mutual dependence must be recognized and obeyed. God is love. God loves. Therefore, it is a pleasure to love and serve God. It is a pleasure to serve whoever is appreciative and lovable. It is a task to serve those who are unappreciative and unlovable. At the same time a Christian servant has no right to slight her work, or be unfaithful, because of the harshness or unkindness of her employer. Live for God, and serve Christ in serving well those by whom you are employed, and you will not lose your reward on earth nor in heaven. Trusty and true, your services will become of immense importance, and doors to usefulness will open before you because of the superintending care of Him who is too wise to err and too good to be unkind. Let not woman dislike the term service or servant. Christ honored it by becoming the servant of all, and made it honorable by commanding that he who would be chief must serve, and by his service rise.

Woman sometimes revolts because her work is classed under the head of domestic, and yet this is the chief characteristic that must distinguish it. That is, her work must have a look homeward, whether she toils in the store or factory or printing-office or kitchen. Somehow the stream of love must sing as it goes babbling by, "Home, home, there is no place like home," else woman fails in her life-work.

Her education must fit her for a home and for home work. Let a man learn that he married a toy, a plaything, a lay figure, useful only for the purposes of exhibiting his taste in jewelry and dress, who desires to be petted and fondled, to be caressed and flattered, but who is incapable of doing anything to contribute to his happiness at home or to his influence abroad, and he comes to feel that she is an encumbrance. If he clings to the old love, and cherishes the old conviction, he learns to treat his wife as a plaything, and to forget her as a helpmeet. He thinks of her as of a toy, which may be used or cast aside at pleasure. She knows and feels the lack of his love. If she becomes dissatisfied, and refuses to make the effort to become a helpful wife and a loving companion, or to be influenced by the law of charity; if she determines to seek happiness in obtaining the admiration of others, which once unwittingly came from her husband; then is she probably ruined, and becomes a "body of death" fastened to one who looks forward to the grave as a refuge and a release, or who finds in the society of other women that pleasure which is denied him at home. Perhaps nothing is more disgusting than to see an empty brain hidden behind a pretty face, or an empty heart concealed beneath costly drapery. A woman who is handsome and is illiterate, who is incapable of speaking entertainingly, is far more homely than a plain face in front of a well cultivated intellect; and a plain dressed woman, with a heart full of love, is to be preferred to a splendidly dressed form which is destitute of soul. Jewels, laces, and silks are not a fit dress for a corpse, and yet a heartless woman is to a man who knows her as soulless as an inanimate body coffined for the tomb. Having thus briefly considered the necessity of linking woman's work and mission together, let us define her work, and consider what is her mission.

Woman has work to do. Though idleness does not destroy her as it does a man, yet it does not become her. Merely to display her charms for the admiration of others cannot be the destiny of one created with a woman's hand and head, and endowed with woman's soul. From the nature of the case, her work should be womanly in its character; that which is within doors rather than without; which belongs to the ornamental rather than to the mechanical. There is no sense in woman's working in the field while man measures tapes or counts thimbles, or in his doing other in-door work for which woman's light touch renders her better qualified. When we look at women who have become coarse in the expression of their features, and ungainly in form and movement, through the weight of their daily toil, we see the folly of those who would make the woman the equal, or the rival, instead of the helpmeet of man; and feel indignation that, since many of our women must earn their own livelihood, we have not a more natural division of labor, which would assign to man the heavier, and to woman the lighter kinds of work. As woman's faith blesses as well as saves her; it is essential that her work be linked in some way to the exercise of faith, and to the unfolding of love. For the character of the work exerts an influence upon woman's body as well as upon her soul. If you will contrast the looks of a happy housewife or domestic with the looks of a majority of the faces that are seen in factories, the truth of the position taken will be abundantly sustained. It matters not so much where the roots of woman's life-work grow, if up through it all, and above it all, the vine may twine its tendril, and send forth its flower, and yield its fruit. For this cause the love of Christ and the hopes of a Christian life seem so essential to her growth and development, that it is almost impossible to write of a happy, contented woman, without describing a woman whose faith in Jesus has regenerated and disinthralled her. Love is the prime requisite to successful endeavor on a woman's part to be her husband's true helpmeet; and so, in discharging the duties incident to a life of toil, woman must be soothed and sustained in her tasks by the joys of a Christian life. Hence the ruin wrought in shops and factories, in stores, and homes where Christ is cast out, and where the bliss of high and holy living is denied.

Woman's mission is to be inferred from a consideration of the wants of man. Created to be a helpmeet for man, it is essential, if we would determine her mission, that we ascertain for what purpose man needs her influence.

God declared, "It is not good for man to be alone," and woman was brought to him as a companion, to charm his life, to prolong it by sharing it with him. Her vocation, by birth, is a vocation of love. To be his helpmeet, not his rival; not to increase, but to lighten, or to support him, under his cares; to recognize him as the immediate object of her existence, instead of fancying that he was formed to wait on her; this is the end for which God has called her into being. As has been said, "This representation may not satisfy the ambition of some, who do but degrade themselves by aspiring to occupy a position for which they are neither intended by God nor qualified by nature,—even as men and angels fell when they sought to become as gods,—but in reality it tends to woman's elevation; and, as the whole history of Christianity doth show, where its truth is most recognized and relied upon, there woman is happiest and greatest."

The word "mission," as applied to woman, refers to the purpose for which she was created and brought to man. In considering her mission, we are safe in avowing that woman found her mission, 1. At home. Her mission is in the home. Her training must fit her for the home, whether she serves as a wife or as a domestic. Her life is a success when she makes home a pleasure and a joy to those to whom the home properly belongs. It is for this reason that there is deep concern on the part of many thoughtful minds because the drift of the times is against educating women for the home. Of the women who are compelled to earn their own subsistence many prefer the factory and the store to the work in the family, and, as a result, there are large numbers of young women who cannot make a loaf of bread or cook a meal, who would not hesitate to become wives of working-men, who expect to find in them a helpmeet in building a home like that which blessed their childhood. The result is dissatisfaction and recrimination, leaving the wife for the club, and turning from the joys of the home to the revel of jovial companions.