Mr. Quirke: (Eagerly.) Here is an anti-treating button. I was made a present of it by one of my customers—I’ll give it to you (sticks it in Hyacinth’s coat) and welcome.
Sergeant: That is it. You can wear the button on the platform—or a bit of blue ribbon—hundreds will follow your example—I know the boys from the Workhouse will——
Hyacinth: I am in no way wishful to be an example——
Sergeant: I will read extracts from the testimonials. “There he is,” I will say, “an example of one in early life who by his own unaided efforts and his high character has obtained a profitable situation”—(Slaps his side.) I know what I’ll do. I’ll engage a few corner-boys from Noonan’s bar, just as they are, greasy and sodden, to stand in a group—there will be the contrast—The sight will deter others from a similar fate—That’s the way to do a tableau—I knew I could turn out a success.
Hyacinth: I wouldn’t like to be a contrast—-
Sergeant: (Puts testimonials in his pocket.) I will go now and engage those lads—sixpence each, and well worth it—Nothing like an example for the rural classes.
(Goes off, Hyacinth feebly trying to detain him.)
Mrs. Delane: A very nice man indeed. A little high up in himself, may be. I’m not one that blames the police. Sure they have their own bread to earn like every other one. And indeed it is often they will let a thing pass.
Mr. Quirke: (Gloomily.) Sometimes they will, and more times they will not.
Miss Joyce: And where will you be finding a lodging, Mr. Halvey?