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Chapter 38 Personal Belief
"Why was it so necessary to nail down as truths those aspects of life which had no answers?"
" . . . I did not even touch the vastness of Being and even less the essence of nonexistence."
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
My Personal Belief
If through the very mysteriousness of life one is able to grasp a sustaining faith, perhaps this alone is proof of an undeniable presence in the heavens. I am humbled by knowledge, and simply through that which I shall not understand, I have developed the belief that existence on earth is only a mere wisp of that existence which shall follow one's death. That I do not know what will occur after death does not worry me; at best, I hope for a unity with an all-encompassing entity, yet I would not reject the thought of eternal rest. What peace I have comes through hope and limitless possibilities; it does not rest in an established faith. If there was ever a working force to sway my personal beliefs toward a more assured stance with respect to an eternal life, it was after the death of my brother. I was the only one present at the moment of his death, and his long expiration was followed only by peacefulness. His face was that of a young man at rest. There was nothing to fear in that silent face, and my grief was only for myself.
Two days passed, filled with anguish, when a quiet peace settled in my chest and I realized that he never really left my inner being. In me he lived on.
Following weeks and months brought dreams of Norm, some of which were given the quality of messages rather than mere conjurings of my own mind. Thoughts never before conceived in my conscious mind appeared in my dreams concerning after life; also within my dreams were those subjects about which Norm had dreamed. It was as if he was living through me; in my actions, I saw through his eyes.
Many people think of death as the worst occurrence which they shall have to bear, especially when their lives have been relatively without pain. Death is no menace to me in itself; the unpleasantness of ill health or the grief of losing a loved one is that which, for me, evokes the wary anticipation associated with death.