Given the basis of Christianity, it seems amazing to me that some of its followers so desperately fight death. They believe in a life everlasting, where in heaven they shall reside, cleansed of sin, forever with God. Yet despite this promising array of unearthly splendor, they seek to prolong life with vigor rather than celebrate their nearing death. If indeed, they are so certain of heavenly bliss, there should be no need for fear and death should be more valued than life.
I do not truly consider myself to be of one established faith for I detest labels, as it immediately implies their inherent limitations. Moreover, my religion is a very personal thing, not bound to a certain mode of thought; labeling would only provoke attention… some of which is difficult to manage.
I recall several conversations centering on religion in which each of my questions was countered with a quote from the Bible. I soon felt as if I was talking with a programmed robot rather than an intelligent, capable human being. They all seemed bereft of opinion. "But what do YOU think?" I'd ask, agitated. "It says in the Bible that…" I knew it was futile to continue. They had been robbed by their own church denomination; it seemed to me a terrible injustice.
I am unable to accept the Bible as the whole truth, for I feel existence and its counterpart cannot so easily be explained. While there are those who profess to believe wholly and completely, I think certain individuals find it easier to accept their religion's creeds as truths to avoid the unanswerable questions brooding deep within their minds. This one problem of life is solved. Perhaps, also, some individuals are fearful of fostering doubt toward God and salvation, lest they be turned away on judgment day. To these people, thought is sinful; yet I believe one is given an exquisite mind with which to reason and evaluate stimuli; it is a natural function to be inquisitive.
It always bothered me when people would state as a fact that which was only faith. Why was it so necessary for them to nail down as truths those aspects of life which had no answers? Despite my thirst for knowledge, I reveled in the endless possibilities, knowing that I did not even touch the vastness of Being, and even less the essence of nonexistence. Since either belief or disbelief toward a given thought could be one day proven entirely wrong, I found no malignancy in uncertainty.
I do not feel that living a "good life" should call for a reward in after life; an indestructive and morally objective existence should be a reward in itself and should not need the impetus of a reward to live righteously, for that implies one would live in a lesser degree of goodliness if he was certain no reward would come in a later form of being.
The thought of reincarnation into another earthly being after one's death is, for me, an unpleasant thought. I look upon each being as an individual which is part of an ultimate whole, and in that belief, reincarnation has no part. The only indication which could be attributed to reincarnation are those instances when a person speaks in a foreign tongue and laments an historic occurrence; the spirit of another speaking through a living person. To a lesser degree, there is the inexplicable, yet common feeling of de ja vu. If a person has never been in a place before, how could he feel that he has seen it in another point in time? As mysterious as these happenings are, I would rather think of them as earthly contacts made by uneasy or tormented spirits, rather than any sign of reincarnation. Then I would hope that there is nothing but rest after death, although the reality of this wish certainly is not augmented by tales told of those who have, so to speak, departed and then have later been revived. I would be quite annoyed if, after lapsing into a serene dreamland, I wake, only to find myself deposited on earth in the form of an infant, destined to bridge the tide of humanity once again…
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Chapter 39 Reminiscence
"What man thinks of as solid "truths" could be obliterated once one has passed from worldly existence . . . "