SIMON SHORT’S SON SAMUEL
Shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes. Seventeen summers’ speeding storms, spreading sunshine, successively saw Simon’s small shabby shop still stanch; saw Samuel’s self-same squeaking sign still swinging, silently speechifying: “Simon Short, Smithfield’s sole surviving shoemaker, shoes sewed, soled superfinely.”
Simon’s spry, sedulous spouse, Sally Short, sewed shirts, stitched sheets, stuffed sofas. Simon’s six stout, sturdy sons, Seth, Samuel, Stephen, Saul, Shadrach, Silas—sold sundries. Sober Seth sold sugar, starch, spice; Simple Samuel sold saddles, stirrups, screws; sagacious Stephen sold silks, satins, shawls; skeptical Saul sold silver salvers; selfish Shadrach sold salves, shoestrings, soap, skates, saws, sausages, sawdust; slack Silas sold Sally Short’s stuffed sofas.
Some seven summers since, Simon’s second son, Samuel, saw Sophia Sophronia Spriggs, sweet, sensible, smart Sophronia Spriggs. Sam showed strange symptoms. Sam seldom stayed storing, selling saddles. Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought Sophia Sophronia Spriggs’ society; sung several serenades slyly. Simon stormed, scolded severely, said Sam seemed so silly singing such shameful, senseless songs. “Strange, Sam should slight such splendid summer sales! Strutting Spendthrift! Shatter-brained simpleton!”
“Softly, softly, sire!” said Sally. “Sam’s smitten; Sam’s spied some sweetheart.”
“Sentimental schoolboy!” snarled Simon. “Smitten! stop such stuff!” Simon sent Sally’s snuffbox spinning, seized Sally’s scissors, smashed Sally’s spectacles, scattered several spools. “Sneaking scoundrel! Sam’s shocking silliness shall surcease!” Scowling Simon stopped speaking, starting swiftly shopward. Sally sighed sadly. Summoning Sam, she spoke sweet sympathy.
“Sam,” said she, “Sire seems singularly snappy; so, sonny, stop strutting streets, stop smoking segars, spending specie superfluously, stop sprucing so, stop singing serenades, stop short! Sell saddles sensibly. See Sophia Sophronia Spriggs soon; she’s sprightly; she’s stable. So, solicit, sue, secure Sophia speedily, Sam.”
“So soon? So soon?” said Sam, standing stock-still.
“So soon, surely,” said Sally, smiling, “’specially since Sire shows such spirits.”