“From prison.”
The child began to cry. I realized the tactlessness of my reply. “If they ever take you away again I’ll go too,” he sobbed. “But where’s ‘Aunt Baby’? What has happened to her? And where is Papa? They say he’s been killed.”[16]
“Darling, darling, I can tell you nothing about Papa.”
Hearing the sound of voices, my father now came into the room. He was greatly relieved to know that I was safe, as all sorts of stories were current respecting my fate and that of Anna Virouboff. But my one thought was for my child: he was much better, but the room struck cold, and I asked my father how it was that there was no fire. He shrugged his shoulders. “Ma chère,” he replied, “the answer is quite simple—we have no wood! The servants manage to steal a little to burn during the day, but at night c’est bien autre chose.”
I undressed as quickly as possible, and got into bed. I held Titi close. I kissed him passionately. I trembled with mingled joy and fear!.... No one should separate us. I knew nothing as to our ultimate fate, but I had made up my mind, during these first hours of freedom, to escape as soon as possible to my estates in South Russia, and, if the Imperial Family were removed from Tsarkoe, to join them.
It was a strange home-coming. The whole house was disorganised. The servants were still devoted to my interests, but food and fuel were difficult to obtain. I spent the morning of the next day lying on a couch in my dressing-room. I was really ill; the long strain had told, and Nature was now exacting her toll in the shape of occasional heart attacks. The hours passed peacefully and slowly, but at ten o’clock in the evening the telephone rang, and my maid told me that the Commandant of the Equipage de la Garde wanted to speak to me.
I was surprised and vexed. After the way in which certain officers had treated the Imperial Family, it was not agreeable for me to continue their acquaintance. However, I went to the ’phone.
“Madame Dehn,” said a well-known voice, “have you actually come back from the Palace?”
“Yes, I returned to Petrograd a few days ago.”
“I heard that you had been placed under arrest. How is it then that you are at home?”