In addressing elders the child should know exactly the correct forms to use. For instance, it is no longer considered good form for anyone except servants or tradespeople to use the expressions "Yes, ma'am," and "Yes, sir." Still there is some deference due parents and elders, and the correct method of address is, "Yes, mother," or "No, father," or "Thank you, Mr. Gray." The manner of the child is just as important as the form of expression; a courteous, respectful manner should always be used towards elders.
Contradictions are unbecoming in children. Yet the young girl or boy must be entitled to his or her own opinion. If something is said with which he does not agree, and if he is taking part in the conversation, he may say, "I beg your pardon, but...." or, "I really think you are making a mistake. I think that...."
AT THE TABLE
The final test of good manners comes at the table. Remembering this the parents should lay special stress on this part of a child's training, so as to make his manner of eating as natural as his manner of breathing. And one is almost as important as the other. There are no particular rules for children beyond those which older people should follow and these are given further on in this volume. Children are really little men and women and their training is all for the purpose of equipping them to live the lives of men and women in the happiest and most useful way possible.
A child should never seat himself until those older than he are in place though even this should not be ostentatious. As soon as the mother or whoever is presiding at the table indicates that it is time for them to be seated they all should take their places almost simultaneously.
Disparaging comments on the food are ill-bred. Unpleasant incidents should be passed over lightly whether they take place in the intimacy of the home circle or in a more formal gathering.
The conversation should be agreeable. Quarreling, nagging, gossiping, scandal-mongering, and fretting are absolutely taboo.
PLAYMATES
We have already said that children catch their manners from the people about them. This is as true of their playmates as of their parents and when the child is in school nearly all day and playing out somewhere the rest of the time except during the evening when he is at home studying it is perhaps even more so. The most rigid discipline and the most loving care will not prevail against the example of Tom, Dick, or Harry, if these three have been allowed "to run wild." There is a glamor about lawlessness even among children. This should be kept in mind by their parents, and while they should be placed, insofar as it is possible, among desirable playmates, there should not be too stern repression. For this may stifle development, it may breed sullenness, or it may engender rebellion.
There are too many parents to-day who try to bring up their children "by the rule." There is no rule. Each child is a law unto himself and the best way the mother or father can learn to take care of him is to study the youngster himself.