Book of Etiquette, Volume I

by Lillian Eichler Watson

The stranger is invited to accompany the caller primarily as a matter of convenience. If the person visited is not at home, no question of card-leaving is involved—only the friend leaves cards and not the stranger. But if the hostess is found at home, and if the stranger intends to spend at least two weeks in the neighborhood, it is necessary for him, or her, to leave cards. It is not necessary for the stranger to leave cards when the visit in the neighborhood is to be a short one, and the call is entirely a matter of convenience. If no card is left, the hostess will understand that no call is expected in return, and that the stranger expects no invitations to the coming social activities in the neighborhood.

Sometimes a man or woman accompanies a friend or relative to the home of a stranger, for the purpose, previously arranged, of being introduced and paying a first call. Here the etiquette of card-leaving is clearly defined. If the call is made on the day at home, the caller leaves his or her cards on the hall table, just as for any other first call. But if it happens to be a chance call, and the hostess is not at home, the stranger leaves cards with those of a friend.

When two women pay a chance call together, and one is a perfect stranger at the house visited, no question of card etiquette arises if the hostess is not at home. But if she is at home, the stranger may pencil his or her name on the card that the friend sends up. No card is left by this stranger, unless he has been cordially entertained in the hostess' drawing-room, served with tea, and unless the hostess has expressed a desire of meeting him, or her, again. In this case, a card is left when the stranger is departing, and a return call is expected.

CARDS AND BUSINESS CALLS

The laws of social calling and card-leaving do not hold true when a business call is made. A special set of rules takes care of all business calls that the woman may make.

The usage which governs the woman who is calling upon a man on a matter of business has already been described. She does not send in her card. To give her name to the attendant, stating her business, or to write both on a slip of paper provided for the purpose, is sufficient.

If the business call is made on a woman who is a stranger to the other woman who is making the call, it is necessary to send in one card, inscribed with the name of the caller and a few penciled words regarding the nature of the business. Or the card may be sent in with a brief word to the servant regarding the purpose of the call.

Two women who are on charity committees, or other committees, together, who are social equals but who do not exchange cards and calls, have a special card etiquette to follow when calling upon each other regarding matters of mutual interest on the committee. The caller sends up one of her own personal cards with a word or two explaining the object of the call. This card is left with the servant to give to the hostess if she is not at home.

WHEN A MAN LEAVES CARDS

All the rules of card-leaving outlined for the woman who follows the dictates of social calling, may be applied to the well-bred young man—but with the following exceptions: